”If That’s Moving Up, Then I’m Moving Out”

A scene (from an Italian Restaurant, shout out William Joel x2) that is most concerning, but is constantly gaining ground, is the lack of great (not just good) educators that are in front of our future youth. Many educators (myself included) have strongly considered, or have already acted, in finding another occupation where they trade-in the thanklessness for the cheddar. If you were like me, and God help you if you’re anything like me, you’ve heard that you’ll never become rich being an educator but the impact you’ll have on hundreds of young minds will be worth all the tea in China...or something to that effect. You get it though. Being a teacher is an extremely thankless career with an even thanklesser(?) paycheck to show. But hey, your tolerance for the consumption of alcohol gets better with every school year and the constant bags under your eyes really take away from the sight of your graying hair.

Maybe I’m being a little too far fetched here, but I really don’t think I am. The grass is not always greener as your career progresses, and the same issues that you deal with regarding class size, new administrative fixes to curriculum, and the constant juggling act of correcting student behavior remains from Day 1 until, well...that’s what I’m still trying to figure out.

Unfortunately, distractions work too well

This was almost a whole chapter by itself, but as I started to write it, it seemed to fit nicely. The chapter was supposed to be titled “One Line”. Isn’t it amazing how “one line” from within a book, a newspaper article, a text, or even a job application can change your demeanor? After reading that “one line”, your mood changes; for better or for worse, you’re now a different person. Yes, a whole different person. Happier or sadder, your view about something is now different. Thus, making you different. Even if it’s on the molecular level, you view the world differently from that point on. Yes, I am ranting, and yes I am getting off the beaten path here, so let me give you a little context.

If I am being totally genuine throughout the entirety of this blog, let me spill my heart out on these next few paragraphs. Most likely since my 2nd or 3rd year of teaching I have ALWAYS wanted to do something memorable within my field. Open an after-school center, get my PHD, and just be “great”, but for some reason I have withheld a total commitment to those things OR I have come up with excuses (or better yet distractions) for not following through. As I write this, the pit of my stomach hurts thinking about this. I’ve used “safer” professional development opportunities to distract me, I’ve used people and co-workers as distractions, hell I’ve even used the death of an immediate family member as an excuse as to why I haven’t totally been committed to taking that leap of faith into something greater (see, I told you this would get real). I guess it took for me to write this blog to hold myself even a little bit more accountable for my failures. Yes, failures. Maybe my colleagues, friends, and family would not see what I’ve done so far in my short career as “failures” but it’s really not about what they think and it never has been (regardless of what I’ve told them in the past). 

I have seen and have been close with many colleagues within this field that have done some pretty good things for kids. They’ve gone “above and beyond” (man, that’s so stupid to say) in helping students find their way in both the classroom and community, and that is all very commendable work. I’ve done the very same thing, but I am not sold that what has been done here is great work. All of those things done are very forgettable. Yeah I said it, and you can get pissed off at me if you think you are one of those educators, but let’s really think about this. I am not saying that you should stop doing these things by any means. Kids need mentors in this crazy society we are living in; to give them guidance through action, so please don’t sell yourself short on the thoughtful acts you do in the best interest of your students and young people in your community. What I am saying though, is that all of these acts, to me anyways, are not great. They’re good, but not great. Remember, these are my experiences, they may not be yours, but if you can relate then you get what I’m saying here hopefully.

Anyways, what does this all have to do with my “one line” statement? My one-line statement comes from my experiences (and even experience tonight as I write this) with trying to become great. I have currently been putting countless applications out for an Assistant Principal position anywhere they would hire me, but here is the kicker; I don’t have the appropriate licensure. I have EVERYTHING else listed as a qualification, but that one line asking for that documentation is missing from my professional credentials. Currently, I am in the refusal stage of getting this license because I refuse to pay for any further schooling after my 7 years of under-grad and graduate studies that left me in the 6-figure debt column (student debt is a discussion I’d rather have in person because I don’t have the patients nor the time off to type out such an in-depth masterpiece). So, I am trying to go the roundabout way in becoming an administrator; use the Private School system so that this license isn’t always required. (I know that those in the public school position are now ripping me apart,, but again this is my story not yours) Will this lead to “greatness” in my field? Will I be a great leader at this level? Will I even get a job? Will Superman save the young woman stuck on the train tracks from the breakless train barreling towards her? Tune in next week to find out!...Just kidding, but seriously; I don’t have the damndest idea. Maybe by the time this blog is finished, I’ll know what I want to be when I grow up, but I also highly doubt that.

Stay Hungry?

So, from all of that within this chapter, I guess what I’m saying is that it’s ok to not be satisfied…?? It’s ok to always want better for yourself, for your kids, for anything you want to be better. It’s also ok to be angry at a line or statement, because to hell with that line. Be angry, analyze why, and keep moving forward. That’s what I have done, and will continue to do. Don’t place distractions or excuses in front of you either. I have spent many nights, and tonight might be another, wondering every “why” and “if” in my life. I spend WAY too much of my life living and thinking about the past. I’m 33 years now (at least I am while I’m writing this chapter), but I don’t want my next 33 years spent analyzing the last 33. I am not sure how to end this. I don’t think I’ve come to any “ah ha” moment, nor do I think I’ve given you any sound advice, so here’s to the next blog(s) in hopes that you can pull something more useful from them. CHEERS!

Do you have a story to tell? Tell it!...or at least let me tell it. Reach out to any one of my platforms to expose your experience(s), your truth, as both a human and an educator. I would love to hear from you!